give thanks
to sis,
thank you for everything today. really. i'm sorry for totally being unreasonable and making you worry. thanks for just being there today; for hearing me out and not being judgmental. i was bottling up too much about stuff that's happened, and i guess i just cracked today. it's been a draining period, and it's been the most trying time of the whole year despite it being the holidays. thank you for just listening, and in your silence i felt your warmth and i knew you cared. it's not about the few words you spoke, but you knew just what i needed and you gave it. it's not that i can't fight my own battles; i've done that all my life. i just need someone to heal me; the physical wounds will heal over time, the emotional and spiritual ones do not. ignoring them does not make them go away. you've been there time after time, tending to me and making sure i was ready for the next battle that i would face. i have my pride, and i've learnt never to let my guard down lest i become vunerable, but you're one that i would let through the fortress i've constructed - past the walls and gates into where i am truly who i am, where no facade exists.
it's not your words that cause me to be stronger; it's your silence that let's me know you care and understand. it's a transcendental connection we share, and i'm glad i have you. really. you know how much i hate words - they are ever so deceitful - so you speak through your actions. your arm around me was reassuring, letting me know that you'll always be there, as you've always have been. indeed, time and space cannot constrain your love. and though there are trying times for the both of us, we emerge from those strengthening the bond we have. you're just one of the few people that make me smile without reason. you know i love you, and you mean alot to me.
to you.
Stained Glass Masquerade
by Casting Crowns
Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feeling so small
Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they'll soon discover
That I don't belong
So I tuck it all away, like everything's okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them
Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain on our stained glass masquerade
Is there anyone who's been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who's traded
In the altar for a stage
The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart
But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be
Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay
1:19 AM
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